Why Can’t Godzilla Eat Hotels?
Because They’re Too Suite.

By Benjamin Chrollin | March, 2022

The world found itself plagued in 2021, not just by COVID-19 but also bland, tasteless, and vapid big-budget “films.” Godzilla vs. Kong was released in early-March, 2021 to much praise and celebration from the collective cult swirling about the “Monsterverse” franchise but through that national tragedy, a glimmer of hope, American pride and ingenuity had shone through the rubble. A dreaded “Mockbuster.”

Ape vs. Monster, released April 30, 2021, garnered much disdain and hatred from said toxic following of Legendary Pictures’ (lest we forget they are the propaganda arm of the CCP’s overtly-racist regime) Avengers rip-off franchise. The film is a genuine gem and took the core structure of what made Godzilla vs. Kong… tolerable, and made it far superior. From the character (monster) building, the creature designs, emotional impact, and so on, Ape vs Monster provides a more robust film experience with far more depth and believability.

Between the two films, Ape vs Monster does exactly what the Monsterverse’s hypocritical fans always wanted! The film focused on the monsters rather than the human characters, yet largely went unnoticed.

Director, Adam Wingard (of Homesick [2007] fame) failed in that he NEVER listened to his loyal cult of obese fans, as promised in a June 4th 2020 interview from the Wegotthiscovered blog where he guarantees “heightened tension and action.” This was arguably never achieved which left some critics craving more depth and involvement from a Kaiju film’s theme and characters. Fast forward a month, Ape vs Monster releases and is immediately “review bombed” by Monsterverse cultists.

This “mockbuster” (I despise this term as it is dismissive of creative liberty) brilliantly saw what Godzilla vs. Kong was supposed to be, modified what worked, and introduced the elements that viewers asked for.

Students from Central University in northern Texas reportedly staged protests demanding Wingard include more female representation as his films historically lacked many notable female roles. Once again, where Wingard failed, Daniel Lusko (director of Ape vs Monster) stepped in. Lusko bravely introduced Dr. Linda Murphy (played by Arianna Scott) not only bare-breasted to demonstrate body-positivity themes but also as an empowered-female character fulfilling an important role for humanity. Lusko also topped Wingard in his film’s compelling storytelling. Wingard’s entry introduces a version that includes flat-earth, inverted gravity, and portrays the monsters as gods.

Lusko kept his story more grounded in reality. He cleverly wove contemporary political themes such as Cold War tensions with science fiction by having a joint US-Russian space expedition, launch a chimpanzee into space only to return in 2021 genetically modified by space radiation which also mutated a passing Gila monster.

The story structure is also far superior in Lusko’s work. The narrative is linear and keeps the audience engaged because we see a small cast who can provide exposition as needed. Wingard, on the other hand, blatantly rips off Avengers: Infinity War (yawn) as it has multiple camps of people, simultaneously attempting to achieve respective goals only to converge at the end to fight the movie’s “big bad guy.” The audience is narrowly forced through the film’s story, scratching their heads while the plot drags them from continent to continent, including below the earth’s surface. Just listen to how that sounds.

All in all, we feel Adam Wingard and everyone attached to this franchise has dropped the proverbial banana until they finally slipped on the byproduct of their own making. Luckily, there are filmmakers (a la Kubrick or Shyamalan) who learn from others’ mistakes and provide fans with what they want: quality entertainment.