Shure® SM7B: The Most Overrated Microphone On The Planet

By Noah Migo | August, 2022

The Shure® SM7B is the most overrated piece of recording equipment in the world. Hooking this up to a visual spectrum analyzer, you can see its terrible noise floor and watch it produce a constant static. Putting this side-by-side with a microphone that’s $400 cheaper, the ambient noise isolation is way worse on the Shure® SM7B. This is a low-output mic, meaning you’ll be spending a lot of time in post-production trying to fix the nasally and bland voices this thing picks up. But how and did I obtain this piece of junk?

The other day I was watching a video online where this guy’s sister got stuck under the bed. Then, I see this lengthy oval object called “Shure® SM7B” so I looked into it, found it, and bought it. I thought it was an actual pleasure tube – it turns out was actually a microphone. Once I realized it wasn’t what I originally thought, I pulled my pants up and went into the entertainment booth we have here at the Chrollie Awards. I plugged it in and gave this microphone a try.

With this elongated microphone, you will be entering all the right holes. As you plug this into the USB slot and set up the required Shure® $325 software (sold separately), you will be able to sound just like that one guy who was a doctor, a plumber, and a pizza delivery guy. Anyone need a surgery on a leaky sausage pizza? Its crisp recording with electromagnetic shields, keeps that annoying hum away so whatever you are recording is healthy for the ear holes.

The yoke mount stand nut makes it easy to mount and dismount, and use this microphone was made for: showing off to your audience. It also has midrange emphasis that can pick up a vast range of static-laden voices to keep the train going without interruption. Just don’t touch this thing with any force whatsoever, the mounting bracket will detach and you won’t be able to get it back on.

As I am typing this review there is a man who has doo doo stains on his pop filter with his so-called “YETI” mic. If he had the Shure® SM7B those stains would be non-existent due to its rugged enclosure. Made to take a beating, the pop filter (sold separately) will hide all farts or front farts. Fart stains on a pop? Never again.

So if you are a professional or an amateur the Shure® SM7B might be for you. It’s first place for 240p OnlyFans content, second place for low-bitrate streaming services, third place as a pleasure tool, and last place for any real-world sound engineering. Over here at the Chrollie Awards it will be in every single employees hands for personal projects, but certainly not any work projects.

All in all, at a crisp $500 it seems like a steep price to pay for something that looks like a chode. It’s not worth it. Every person who uses one looks like they are about to give out some mouth hugs or are getting the slasher-movie-gut-spill-scene treatment. Since Covid-19 has taken the world by storm there are better ways to record sounds. Get the General Electric® Model 3-5003A Portable Cassette Recorder and an empty can to create those left-channel-only videos that you’ll upload to Vimeo only to inevitably get 3 views maximum.

In conclusion; you’ll get better quality from a mic that’s 90% cheaper.
Just because Alexis Texas can afford this doesn’t mean you can.

Shure SM7B Score

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saved me money thanks i knew it looked too expensive your

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