Warner Bros Preparing Apology For Their Latest Crime Against The Arts ‘DC League of Super-Pets’

Image: 20,000 Leagues of Super-Boredom

By Benjamin Chrollin | August, 2022

July 20th, 2012, James Holmes entered a packed movie theater in Aurora, Colorado and killed 12 moviegoers. Ten years later, on July 29th, my youngest daughter, Suwikominosu and I went for a daddy-daughter date and I found myself begging for a redux during our viewing of DC League of Super-Pets (2022). What an offensive assault on the senses. 

The “film” opens with the worst alien (yet very human-esque) parents jettisoning their infant child into space with a dog who, for whatever reason, resembles terrestrial dogs. He miraculously reaches Earth for which he becomes a proud misogynist who sexualizes his partner, Lois Lane’s looks for which I was disgusted and appalled. 

Though the film’s opening I can only compare to Human Centipede in comparative disgust, we’re then introduced to the wide variety of titular “super pets” ranging from dogs, guinea pigs, fat white woman, tortoise, and a squirrel. As diverse as the cast is, it couldn’t help save this abomination. Especially when considering the human characters.

Superman, a straight, Christian, white and cis-gendered male whose only disguise is a pair of glasses is hailed as a hero, not just in this movie, but also in his comics, TV shows and films. Batman on the other hand, dons an all-black attire and hides at night among the most impoverished areas of New York City. Though the two share many of the same characteristics beneath their disguises, it is Batman who is consistently demonized and pursued by the police canonically in his respective media. 

Pictured: Superman

While watching DC League of Super-Pets, I found myself wondering, “how could two copy/paste white men live such divergent life experiences as vigilantes?” Then it donned on me, and it was pretty obvious. Simply put; Superman represents the “ideal white” while Batman, though wearing a more insidious form of “black face” is viewed and categorically targeted for representing POCs. Upon writing this review, I was shocked as I evidently am not the only one to have such a keen eye for white supremacist imagery among the motion arts!

In a 2015 episode of her show, MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry struck new ground with a mighty strike to white dominance in art as she shed light on the very issue that I was suffering through with DC League of Superpets. In her segment, she stated that Darth Vader from the Star Wars series was overtly racist, much like Batman’s depiciton as he was doing “evil things” until he revealed himself to be white right after his famous redemption arc in Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980). 

The part where he was totally a black guy, whose name basically was James Earl Jones, and while he was black, he was terrible and bad and awful and used to cut off white men’s hands, and didn’t, you know, actually claim his son? But as soon as he claims his son and goes over to the good, he takes off his mask and he is white? Yes, I have many, many feelings about that.

– Mellisa Harris-Perry, MSNBC, 2015

Many Trump supporters did and will continue to rush to say she is “insipid,” ”juvenile,” ”ironically race-obsessed,” “retarded,” “exceptionally unqualified to educate young minds as she quit doing so after being denied a full professorship by Tulane University” or even, “an absolute fucking moron,” but I would declare her “brave.” The fact she took a stand to defend the fictional black people represented by fictional garments adorned by real white people is truly astounding and deserves much praise and admiration from today’s youth.

I also found it quite curious that at the “film’s” climactic battle between superheroes and titular Super Pets, Krypto (Superman’s beloved WHITE dog) was beloved by Superman while Ace (a black dog) was RELUCTANTLY embraced by Batman, a straight Christian, white and, cis-gendered male (symbolic of the black plight in America). 

The overtness of the film doesn’t even stop there! We then see Wonder Woman embrace the perpetually insecure fat white wom-er, pink pig named “PB” as her companion. I was horrified by the idea of an insecure obese female character being crushed under, not just their weight, but under the “classic” female standard of beauty by contemporary American cinema standards. Typical Hollywood, I know. The Weinstein effect is a lasting one, apparently.

That aside, I did find the introduction of a black Ironman intriguing. The Afro-centric twist to the MCU’s Warmachine (played by Don Cheadle of ‘Golden Girls’ fame) was a breath of fresh air among a two-hour long smog of mayonnaise. For that alone, I am now intrigued by the prospect of the MCU’s future.

All in all. I hated this redundant Hollywood slogfest. Complete borefest filled with recycled ideas and problematic imagery. I hated every moment of it and the gleeful cheers of my daughter just couldn’t supersede the objective truth that DC’s League of Super-Pests is simply, a bad film.

DC League of Super-Pets (2022) Review Score

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is this real? what did i read


Definitely not taking my kids to see this.

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